Letters
by Dancingqueen4Life
Summary: Letters Natasha and Clint wrote to each other, just in case. Rating for slight cussing. Please read and review.


**So I've seen a lot of stories like this, and decided to post my take on it.  
I don't own anything recognizable.**

* * *

Assassin- noun- a murderer, especially one who kills a politically prominent person for fanatical or monetary reasons.

Not really the nicest of words, but it's what they are.  
And any assassin can tell you that the likelihood of getting to retirement age, even if it's considerably lower than most other professions, is no easy task. And making it that far, and still having some semblance of humanity left is even more difficult.  
Hell, most assassins lose their ability to feel after a year or two, finding it easier to simply shut out emotions, rather than facing them at an inopportune time.

So finding two assassins that have been in the game for a decade and still manage to feel any emotions at all, even of they can't name them, is rare. Even rarer for those emotions to be focused at each other.  
But Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton were nothing if not rare.

Although they didn't admit it, at least not publically, they were in love. Had been for years, ever since they survived a fuck ton of bullets and explosions in Budapest. But they were careful; because when you're an assassin you aren't the only one at risk. Anyone and everyone you care about is in danger of being killed.

So they hid it, as best they could. But they couldn't hide it from everyone.

Coulson found out because they told him. He was the only person they trusted even half as much as they trusted each other. He was also their handler, and bound to find out regardless of whether or not they told him, so they figured it was easier to just tell him and get it over with.

The other person was Pepper, because damn, that woman knew everything. As soon as she'd seen Natasha and Clint together- and fighting no less, she'd pulled them aside and confronted them. They finally admitted it, swearing to kill her if she ever told a soul, especially Tony.

And so their game went. They went on missions, both solo and, eventually, with the Avengers. They sparred, both on and off the mat, both physically and verbally. And they loved. They loved like there was no tomorrow, because for them, tomorrow wasn't guaranteed. They spent every night they could together, taking comfort in the fact that the other one was still there, still alive.

They managed to ignore their profession as best they could when they were alone, but every time they suited up for a mission, they were reminded that there was a chance, no matter how small, that one or both of them wouldn't make it back.

It was that little bit of information that caused them to do two things:

First, while making their way to a rendezvous point after a mission, they took a detour to a small village that only locals knew about, and got married. It wasn't the least bit legal, but doing it legally wasn't an option.

The second was the safe that was kept, at all times, in a safe in Coulson's private quarters. The safe contained two letters, one from Natasha to Clint, and one from Clint to Natasha. They remained safely in Coulson's room because he was one of two that they had trusted enough to tell.

The letters weren't simple, but neither were the people they were written by or for. They were the kind of letters that both hoped would never need to be read, but both acknowledged were likely to end up with the other.

* * *

_Clint-  
If you're reading this, I'm so sorry. I've never been afraid of death, only of what I'll end up missing.  
I'll miss seeing you every morning when I wake up, and every night when I go to bed. I'll miss hearing you sing over comms when you're bored during a mission. I'll miss you leaving empty milk jugs in the refrigerator, just to annoy me. I'll miss the way you'd turn our bed into a nest before letting either of us go to sleep. I'll miss the sound of your bow releasing, knowing without a doubt that you'll hit the target exactly where you want to. I'll miss wiping the floor with your ass during our sparring sessions.  
But mostly, I'll miss my opportunity to thank you. I suppose here's as good a place as any,  
Thank you, Clint. Thank you for saving my life in Stalingrad. Thank you for showing me a new life with SHIELD. Thank you for all the times you saved my life, whether I needed it or not- and I swear to God, if you start thinking that I needed you to save me this time, and you start blaming yourself, I will come back from the grave and castrate you, and possibly destroy all the nests you build in our bed.  
But more than anything, Clint, thank you for teaching me how to be human. When you found me, I was broken, although I was loathe to admit it at the time. You picked up the pieces and fixed me, adding in bits of humanity whenever you could.  
It's because of you that I learned to love again. I was taught that love was for children, and had had my ability to love taken from me. But you taught me that love can be for anyone, even assassins. You weren't the first person to fall in love with me, but you were definitely the first, and only, person that I wanted to fall in love with. You made me feel safe, made me want to be myself.  
Please don't dwell on this too much. Continue living. I know it'll be hard, but you'll find another reason to keep fighting, I know you will._

_I'll love you until the end of time, whenever that may be,  
Natasha._

_P.S. If you follow me to wherever the hell I'm going, I'll torture you._

* * *

_Nat-  
You know what this means, if you're reading this. I won't be there to hold you anymore, and for that, I'm truly sorry.  
But know that I did this for you, or at least I hope I did. I hope that if I have to die first, it will be because I was protecting you, no matter how much it will have pissed you off.  
Please don't blame yourself. This is in no way your fault, and if I find out that you spent any amount of time blaming yourself, I will haunt you from here until kingdom come.  
You know I love you, Tasha. I've told you countless times, whispers in the middle of the night, words that tumble form my mouth as one of us lay dying, blood gushing from our wounds.  
I love you more than I have words for, Tasha. You know I would do anything for you, and I suppose this proves it. You're my everything, so I'm glad I'll be dead before you, because without you, the world holds nothing for me.  
As much as I would do for you, promise me one thing, Tasha. Promise that you won't give up. Live your life as best you can, and let those around you help you. I promise you won't seem weak._

_I Love you, Tasha. Always have, always will.  
So deal with it.  
Clint_

* * *

After Coulson was killed, the bigger safe was opened and the smaller one removed, its contents still securely inside. Neither assassin knew where they had gone, until Natasha had gone to Pepper's office one day, and had seen the safe somewhat hidden under the desk. With just one look at Pepper, Natasha knew that the letters were safe, and would still be delivered, if the need ever presented itself.

* * *

And on a sunny summer's day, the need arose. The Avengers, Pepper, Fury, and Hill stood in a private cemetery, surrounding two open caskets.

As they quietly said their last farewells before the caskets were sealed and lowered, everyone in attendance found that they weren't sad. Grieving, yes, but not sad. They knew that the assassins' true fears never played out, they'd been able to die together, neither having to live without the other.

Steve gently placed an arrow in Natasha's coffin. It was the exact arrow Clint had almost killed her with, and Steve refused to say how he'd gotten it. He made his way to Clint's coffin and placed a clip of Natasha's favorite bullets next to Clint.

Bruce was next. He carefully folded the scarf that Natasha had left in India when they'd first met, and placed it next to her head, smiling as he realized just how much the color brought out the brightness of her hair. He placed a small figurine in Clint's coffin, a memento of their time in Tony's labs, trying to prevent the billionaire from blowing something else up.

Thor placed Natasha's favorite gun at her hip, right where he knew she always kept it. He placed a shard of a coffee cup in Clint's coffin, smiling as he remembered his time in New Mexico, even if the two hadn't interacted much.

Tony placed a small card with his fingerprint on it next to Natasha's other hip, smiling as he remembered the first time the two had met. He carefully placed a replica of the ring from Lord of the Rings at Clint's side, smiling as he whispered, "Sorry, Legolas. I couldn't think of anything else."

Hill carefully placed a chain around Natasha's neck, and smiled as she saw the wedding band glinting in the sunlight. She did the same for Clint, knowing that they'd be able to wear their rings indefinitely from now on. She felt special, being one of the few who knew they were married. It had taken a lot of time and effort to discover the depth of their relationship, and once she had, Natasha had placed her in control of the rings, vowing to kill her if she ever let word slip.

Fury smiled sadly at his two best agents. He carefully extracted a small figurine of St. Basil's Cathedral and placed it on top of the scarf. He knew that Natasha had always struggled to fit in, due in part to her reluctance to completely give up her Russian heritage. In Clint's coffin, Fury placed a miniature big top, and smiled as he imagined how pissed Clint would be. Clint had always hated being reminded of the circus, not that anybody could really blame him.

Pepper was the last to approach the coffins, doing her best not to cry. When she reached Natasha, she carefully moved her friend's hands and set the letter Clint had written to her on her chest, before folding her hands over it, back into their original position. She did the same for Clint, trying hard not to let the reality of it hit her as hard as she knew it was going to.

Their friends gathered around the coffins for one last look at their fallen comrades. They both looked angelic, their faces showing no signs of any emotion other than peace.

Just before the lids were closed, Pepper realized just how young they both were. Their job had always forced them to appear older than their age, but her last glimpse of the two of them told her that they couldn't be older than their late 20's, and definitely not a day over 30.

As she turned away, she caught sight of their gravestones,

_Clinton Francis Barton  
May 15, 1986- July 6, 2015  
A great man, loyal friend, and skilled archer  
Rest in peace, Hawkeye._

_Natalia Alianovna Romanova  
August 23, 1987- July 6, 2015  
A great woman, fierce friend, and skilled gymnast  
Rest in Peace, Black Widow._

Fury must have sensed her question, because he spoke before she had a chance to ask.

"She told me once that when we buried her, she wanted her Russian name on the gravestone. It was her way of telling them that while they determined her name, it was up to her to decide who she was as a person.

Pepper nodded, and couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips.

Once the coffins had been lowered into the ground, the group gave one last look, before turning and walking away, setting out to get on with what was left of their lives.

* * *

As Natasha sat in a field surrounded by flowers, she smiled. She watched as Pepper gave one last glance to their graves, and it made Natasha slightly happy to know that someone would miss them.

She was pulled from her thoughts by footsteps behind her. When she turned around, she saw Clint standing 4 feet from her, and though she tried, she couldn't help the smile that grew upon seeing him.

"I thought I told you that if you showed up here, I'd have to torture you."  
"You know I've never been good at taking directions, Tasha."  
With that, Natasha ran and threw herself into his arms, content that, for once, there was nobody to tell her and Clint why they couldn't be together.

When they pulled apart, Clint removed the chain from her neck, and the ring form the chain. He carefully took her left hand in his, and slid the ring into place, before allowing her to do the same with his ring. Clint kissed her deeply, breaking apart only when they would have needed to breathe, if they were still alive. He pulled Natasha into his chest, turning her so that her back was pressed against his chest, and wrapped his arms around her waist.

Natasha took his left hand in hers, and twined their fingers together so that their wedding bands touched.

Clint seemed to read her mind, when he leaned down and whispered, "Forever."

And they finally had forever.

* * *

**And there it is! Hopefully you guys enjoyed it, because I know I did! I really hope that the end doesn't seem too out of character. I like to think that the main reason Natasha acts like she does is because she knows the dangers of letting people in, and knows the potential consequences. But since she'd dead, I figured that she'd act more in love, which I truly think she was.**

**Also, I know that, according to the comics, Natasha was born before World War II, but I don't like that, at least not for this story, so I made up my own. But I did use the months that they first appeared in comics as the months they were born, so it kind of matches.**

**Well, that's it for the long-winded author's note.**

**Reviews are wonderful. You should write one. :)**


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